Time Management
All about resultsAnother issue was a deep dissatisfaction with the male-dominated workplace -- a situation leading many to make, or consider, a radical change. |
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Ottawa Sun |
David De Lossy/Photodisc Green/GettyImages
So why do women need this book when they have friends to turn to and "dish" with?
"Not all women dish," Moses says. "A lot don't, particularly successful boomer women who were socialized to not talk about 'girly stuff.' "
Many women are quite lonely at midlife. "They've been so busy being mother, wife-of, manager, that somehow they've let their friendships slide. In fact, many midlife women said this was a major source of regret."
Moses also thinks that while women dish, they don't open up to each other as honestly as they did for her.
Another issue that arose in her research was a deep dissatisfaction with the male-dominated workplace -- a situation leading many to make, or consider, a radical change.
Women find workplaces unfriendly to the female temperament, she says. It's getting worse as work becomes "an extreme sport" with a ruthless focus on results.
"Women are saying 'I care about getting results, but I care as much about how I get these results.' "
'CAN'T REINVENT'
While many women are inspired to make career changes in midlife, Moses bristles at the popular idea of "reinventing oneself."
"People can't reinvent themselves," she says. We're not products that can be rebranded and repackaged.
The idea of reinventing oneself leads a lot of women to make career changes that are too dramatic and end up falling flat on their face.
Moses advises women to "reconfigure their skills," i.e. going into consulting or coaching, or holding onto part of a "core" career to subsidize outside interests that are more satisfying but may be less financially stable.
A desire for change is not all about dissatisfaction, Moses stresses. It's also part and parcel of maturation.
"We're asking ourselves the tough questions like 'what next?', 'What do I want my life to have counted for?', 'What kind of a legacy do I want to leave behind?' "
Moses hopes the insights she shares in Dish will help women who are hurting, feeling they've failed in some way by not having a perfect marriage, perfect kids and the perfect job, which they love.
She also hopes it provides inspiration for those who are asking, "what's next?" and wisdom for younger women looking for life mentors.
"This provides a roadmap for knowing what was wise and what was not so wise."
Do you have you a bad boss?