Workplace Challenges

When Sparks Fly

Pumping Up the Volume: Flirting With Your Colleagues

Flirting can be fun. But does it have a place at the office or should it be saved for extra-curricular activities?

By Hélèna Katz

[ 2009-02-06 ]

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According to a 2001 survey conducted by Thompson Lightstone & Company Ltd., nearly half of respondents ages 18 to 29 said they flirted at work. While there can be some benefits to adding a little spice to your work milieu, the experts caution that sending out sparks is playing with fire.

Encouragement vs. flirting

Sometimes the line between encouragement and flirting isn’t completely clear, says Bill Johnston, advisor with the Canadian Management Centre. Personality differences, the way a person was raised and cultural differences all affect your way of communicating with others, verbally and physically.

“I’ve run across people who are the touchy types,” Johnson says. “They put their hand on your shoulder to be encouraging. But they aren’t flirting.”

For workers, this means being extra-aware of the signals you send out – and receive. Otherwise you may find yourself flirting inadvertently or completely misunderstanding your co-worker’s intentions.

Advantageous advances

Organizational development consultant Caroline Samné says flirting can sometimes add excitement to the job and motivate employees to work harder and be more productive.

“Going into work and having this little excitement to look forward to can keep people on their toes,” she says.

But the key is whether the flirtation is mutual. “If you’re both active participants in it, perhaps it will be more exciting,” she says. “If someone is flirting with you and you see it as offensive, it won’t motivate you.”

Flirting with risks

Vancouver sexologist Dr. Pega Ren takes a firmer stance. “Flirting doesn’t belong in the workplace,” she says, explaining that even playful teasing can set someone up for a sexual harassment complaint – a harsh price to pay if your intentions were innocent.

Johnson also warns that engaging in suggestive banter could hurt you in the long run. “If you are young and ambitious but you get a reputation for flirting, this won’t help you [with your career].” Your skills as a flirt could overshadow your workplace talents, making it more difficult for your colleagues to take you seriously. “You’re in a professional environment and you have to act professionally.”

Sometimes it’s just better to put the flirting in neutral.