Workplace Challenges

Making Love Work at Work

Relationship Envy: Keeping It at Bay

The cat is out of the bag about your new office romance. How can you diffuse potential complications with colleagues and your boss?

By Hélèna Katz


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When a relationship with a colleague becomes public information, it’s only natural that co-workers will react to the news. Life and career coach Joshua Zuchter says their reaction depends partly on how they feel about the new couple. “Some [people] may be really happy for you because they thought you two should be together. Others may be jealous,” he says, adding that workplace friends may get “territorial” and want to protect you from relationship troubles. While you can’t control everyone’s reactions, there are things you can do to try to keep the peace in the office.

Keeping colleagues happy

Randall Craig, author of bestselling career planning book Personal Balance Sheet, says that your behaviour will cue others on how to act. For example, if the two people involved are discreet, private and professional, co-workers will react similarly. However, Craig warns, “It’s very different when two lovebirds coo.” If the couple gushes too much at work, that can be distracting and make colleagues uncomfortable.

Keeping your focus on the rest of the team and hanging out with your usual workplace buddies is a great way to mitigate negative reactions. It will help alleviate any fears colleagues may have and prove you still value their friendship.


If one of the lovebirds is the boss, let the team know that higher-ups have been told of the relationship. Reassure them that plans are underway to have one member of the happy couple transferred elsewhere to avoid a conflict of interest.

Reassuring the boss

Julie Bulmash, professor and coordinator of the human resources program at George Brown College, says productivity – not the relationship – may be an issue with the boss. “It’s not the relationship the boss cares about, it’s whether [the couple] will respect workplace culture and will get work done effectively,” she says.

Whether you’re looking to reassure your colleagues or your boss, organizational development consultant Caroline Samné says actions speak louder than words. “Don’t think there’s anything you can say concretely. But you can ensure your behaviour stays on track.”

Are you in a relationship with a co-worker?

Read more on related issues:



I Went for a Co-Worker. Now What?

Personal vs. Professional Lives: 5 Tips for Keeping Them Separate



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