Make it Work Q & APorn sites lead to resignationsQ: Our IT department records the bandwidth used by each employee; when it’s out of proportion, a report is produced on all the websites that employee has visited. Two men in my department were caught going to pornographic websites. I asked them to resign by letter rather than have me fire them. Firing with “just cause” would have put their professional careers in jeopardy. Both resigned but only “Fred” apologized. “Ben” stormed out screaming and swearing at me and the company. Vera N. Held, Special to QMI Agency |
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A: Fred still has a personal and professional future, but he needs to determine the root causes of what led him to pornography.
Ben needs professional help — and fast — for the original problem, his anger disorder, his denial and who knows what else.
Onward and upward.
Q: I’m a single shoemaker in my early 40s. My grandfather started the business some 40 years ago and my 75-year-old dad still comes to work every day; he enjoys the detail work.
I’m the baby of the family and I was pushed into the business. My three siblings could not have gotten along with my dad in a work environment as he is a perfectionist.
At first I didn’t like the job. Now I see it as a good way to make a living without too much wear and tear on my body. I had planned to be a mechanic.
A: You’ve held the fort (or rather the shoe shop) for a long time, carried on the family tradition and have made your dad proud. You’ve also given your customers your best and you truly like your work.
I know this sounds terrible but once your dad passes on, you will have further career options. And as your three siblings are off doing other things, you will have no reason to feel guilty.
The fact that you feel you were “pushed” into the business is where your soul comes into play. At the right time, you will ask yourself career-related questions and re-create yourself if that’s the right thing for you to do.
Meanwhile, enjoy your profession and your dad; learn as much from him as you can. Make the most of this special opportunity.
Q: I give and give to my co-workers. This includes helping my married colleagues with their marital problems. I know this is not part of my job description, (I’m a marketing analyst) but they assume because I’m female and single that I have all the time in the world to nurture them through their rough spots.
A: It’s time to set rigid boundaries with these colleagues and don’t play “mom” at work. You are at work to flourish in your chosen field and bring satisfaction and fulfillment into your life through this avenue. When work colleagues try to abuse your time with personal issues that are none of your business, they become energy vampires. Banish them.
Vera Held (www.veraheld.com) is a coach, facilitator, speaker, writer, PR consultant and the author of How Not to Take it Personally. Send your workplace questions to vera@veraheld.com.