You probably didn't think about it, and you may not have cared, but it actually might have been as hard or harder for them than it was for you. When emotions and relationships, even friendships are at stake, terminating someone can be one of the hardest tasks managers face.
Canada's etiquette ladies suggest that there are ways to handle firing situations that can make things easier for both parties;
PRIVACY -Find a private place to have the termination meeting. Choose an out of the way location out of view and earshot of co-workers and peers. Try to make it easy for the person being let go to get out of the building unseen, particularly if they are visibly upset.
BE PREPARED- Make sure you have all your paperwork in order and make copies in advance. Ensure that the employee file is up to date and that you have a policy book, calendar, copies of memos, performance reports etc on hand for reference. Try to imagine questions or rebuttals the person being terminated may have and prepare answers. If you are able, try to have the termination papers, record of employment, final pay cheque etc ready as well. This way the person won't have to worry about coming back on site or chasing you for closure.
BE PROFESSIONAL-Avoid chitchatting, joking or discussing personal issues as an icebreaker to the task at hand. Prolonging things will only make it harder and mixing personal and business will send mixed messages. You don't want to give the impression that the decision is negotiable. Be direct and be firm.
SPEAK IN THE FIRST PERSON - Take responsibility for the decision and your direct actions. Say, "I am terminating you today..." instead of "it's been decided..." or "the budget requires that we make cuts..." You don't want the person to think that they're just a number or that you disagree with the decision and are just doing what you're told.
TIMING IS KEY - If possible, plan the termination meeting for early in the week and early in the day. It's insensitive to let someone go the day before the weekend or on a holiday.
Try to imagine the impact of the news to them and their family. What's the harm in easing things a little if you can.
CONSIDER HAVING A WITNESS-It's always a good idea to have a neutral party present when a termination will occur, particularly if the decision is coming on short notice or you expect the person being fired to take it badly.
LET THEM DOWN EASY- There's probably no need to repeat or dredge up every incident or demean and humiliate the person. State the facts, show the supporting documentation, be direct and leave it at that. Let the person maintain some dignity. There is no need to point out every character flaw or error in judgement.
BE SUPPORTIVE- You can be supportive and empathetic without getting too emotionally involved or too personal. Listen for a minute if the person needs to talk, offer to give them a minute to collect themselves or make a call, even hand them a Kleenex if they need one. If it's appropriate, suggest alternative positions or options but don't apologize for firing them and don't hug them or engage in a pity party.
